January 23, 2014

Monday started out looking very promising.  I chatted with Ryan on the phone and wished him a Happy Birthday. We didn't talk to long cuz he was at work. In the afternoon I had an appointment with a new Doctor I was really looking  forward to.  Someone that monitored my meds rather than just write new ones.  My Dad drove me there and waited while I went in.  It was a disaster from the beginning. He First asked if I was gay? Then asked if I had been with a lesbian? I had no idea why he asked these questions and what he was going to say next.  He disagreed with all the specialist in London Regional Mental Health Hospital. I told him I was there for 4 months and he laughed and said they would never keep me that long only up to 8 weeks.  He disagreed with everything I said and I just couldn't wait to get out of there. I told him my Mother was in hospital for a kidney infection and he argued that saying it was dpi. He has no clue who my mother is.  He argued everything I said. He had me so worked up, I was crying all the time. He said he may not approve me to be his patient and that maybe I should stay with Dr. Carlyle cuz he knows my meds.  He stated that he would take me off all my medication and send me to work. He would cut my disability, and wouldn't believe I don't know where my funds come from Brad says my pension.  The cheques just get deposited I don't see any paper work. He didn't believe anything I said.  He kept going between one hospital stay compared to other hospital stays.  He had my mind so confused I couldn't think of what medications I
was taking. Hew told me it would take 5-7 yrs for him to know me??????
Anyways it was an absolute mess, my dad was very concerned but I told him I would manage. He dropped me off at home I took one of my larazapams and laid down in bed till Brad came home.